fall lineup!

"Heroes" is returning, because, apparently people still watch that show. "Trauma" is a new show about the tough times of being an EMT and isn't at all like ER, or Grey's Anatomy, or Scrubs, promise!! The Biggest Loser is coming back and is still two hours long for some reason. (Bigger people, Bigger show? That's my incredibly insensitive theory.) Wednesday night is "Parenthood", which, by the thumbnail given by NBC.com, looks like a really awful reality series followed by one of the 8,000 Law & Order series. Thursday night is "Comedy Night, Done Right*" *75% done right, with "SNL Thursday night" (wait, what? I thought that specifically for the election.) early in the year and "Community" finishing the year, probably with a six episode first season. Parks AND Recreation, The Office at 9 and 30 Rock at 9:30. Can you guess the 25% done incorrectly? Friday night is a DIFFERENT Law & Order followed by the super serious look at cops in LA, "Southland"! "It's like ER, with cops!" NBC pleas, "no thanks" I say. Saturday is "Dateline", an encore of ER- I mean "Trauma" and an encore of Law & Order. You know what you could do with 30 minutes of those encore episodes, NBC? Pick up "Nobody's Watching" like you said you were going to a few years ago!

CBS

Monday is Comedy night on CBS: "How I met your Mother", followed by "Accident on Purpose" in which "Jenna Elfman ... “accidentally” finds herself with child and all the comedy that ensues." I took that from the press release. As if you couldn't tell it would be bad by the title, CBS described it by using the phrase "all the comedy that ensues." I've never heard anyone use any variation of that phrase without being sarcastic. At 9 it's "Two and A half men", somehow, I can't believe that show is still on. Season 7, you guys, Season 7! "The Bing Bang Theory" is coming back for its third season at 9:30. I'm always surprised at how funny that show is. At 10 it's... *sunglasses* "CSI: Miami" WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Tuesday is something, check this out NCIS is at 8, followed by the new show NCIS: LA! yep. I guess making the same show is easier than coming up with original ideas. At 10 is "The Good Wife" about a man who finds himself trapped in the 1950s, but he soon realizes the 50s are great because all his wife does is cook, clean, and pump out kids. Wednesday means more bad sitcoms!
New Adventures with old Christine" and "Gary Unmarried" at 8 and 8:30. At 9 is "Criminal Minds" and 10 is "CSI: NY". Thursday night is "Survivor" (Season 19, you guys!) "CSI:" and "The Mentalist". Friday is "Ghost Whisperer" at 8, followed by ANOTHER new episode of "Ghost Whisperer", oh, wait, actually "Medium" just switched networks. Numb 3 Rs (Read, Recite, Remember?) is at 10. Saturday is just reruns, but Sunday, oh Sunday means all new "AMAZING RACE", some show called "Three Rivers", and "Cold Case".

I can't find ABC's fall lineup. I do, however, know Kelsey Grammar has a new show and Scrubs has been picked up for its ninth season. Zach Braff will be in 6 of the first 13 episodes.

FOX probably has shows, too. But, really, who cares?