Sunday, January 9, 2011

Summer Glau is Glautastic in The Cape.

There's a reason The Cape premiered with two hours. The reason being that the first hour was fairly boring. The second hour was pretty great though. Hour one is all about Vince Faraday's backstory and his family and life as a cop and boring stuff like that. Fuck backstory, I wanna see some ass kicking! I understand backstory is important and all, but can't every backstory ever be "there was this really cool superhero, then he turned into a different really cool superhero!" I guess not. Apparently, Vince Faraday's backstory has to be, cop, hot wife, kid. Luckily, it wasn't too uninteresting or drawn out. "Vince Faraday" is killed within the first 40 minutes by a company called ARK that is trying to take over the police force. They frame Vince as "Chess," the villain who killed the police chief early on in the episode. Chess also doesn't have nearly enough chess puns and/or metaphors. FLAW #1! Chess is actually the leader of ARK, the company that ultimately plans to take down Chess. It's kind of like Syndrome's plan in The Incredibles. Vince figures out the plan and tries to stop it. Unfortunately, he's captured by ARK and has Chess' mask stapled to his head. ARK releases Vince and simultaneously goes after "Chess." He rolls underneath a train car and on top of a door. He breaks the lock on the door and falls underground. The train car is actually a giant tank of gas and it explodes as soon as Vince hits the ground. He covers himself with the now unlatched door. It doesn't do much good because the blast still knocks him out. He's awoken it what I'm pretty sure is an underground circus. IT'S FULL OF CHARACTERS. The "ring leader" is Max Malini. He tells Vince that they are the "Carnival of Crime." They rob banks. Other members of the aforementioned carnival include this girl, a hypnotist and Martin Klebba, who you may remember from Pirates of the Caribbean, Scrubs or an episode of iCarly in 2009. Vince is conVINCEd (sorry.) to become part of the gang. Up until this point, the show has been pretty slow. But then a montage saved it and I was interested again! They rob banks, Vince learns to hypnotize, he fights the little guy. It's a good montage. Then he finds the titular cape. It used to be Max Malini's. Max teaches him about the magic of The Cape and Vince becomes cocky, something the hypnotist warned against. Vince decides to go after a man named Scales. Scales is a villan with british accent. For whatever reason every bad guy has an accent on this show, so far. As he's observing the rigging ship Scales is organizing. (It's rigging, like, explosives and other bad guy stuff.) he encounters someone else doing the same thing. They meet up, by which I mean, Vince chases them down. He uncovers their mask and it's Summer Glau! Hi Summer Glau! How have you been since Dollhouse/Terminator/Firefly?! Summer Glau is a muckraker amongst the Palm City PD named Orwell. The two of them team up and everything is cool. Vince goes out to find the man who effectively killed him. The man is the british accented Peter Flemming, the leader of ARK. But he's ready for Vince. He has his french friend, Cain, A greasy haired assassin who specializes in poison. Vince is poisoned and decides his best course of action is to jump out the window, which is definitely more than 10 stories high. Through her connectivity, Summer Glau discovers Cain may be a member of an assassin group called Tarot. Throughout the episode, a congressman named Patrick Portman (cool name!) is fighting to keep the prisons a government operated system, something else ARK is trying take over. By this time Vince has taken the moniker The Cape, despite still not being in possession of the cape. He meets Patrick "cool name" Portman in his home late at night. He lets him know that he's not the only one fighting against ARK. Eventually, Patrick "cool name" Portman is at this fancy restaurant with Flemming. Summer Glau finds out and pretends to be a food critic so she can get into the completely booked restaurant. She uses her knife as a mirror. CLASSIC SPY MOVE. The chef brings her some wine, but the chef is Cain. OH SHIT! She's invited back to the kitchen and they fight. When it looks like all is lost for Summer Glau, The Cape appears! Then The Cape and Cain get in a fight and The Cape wins. Yeah!!! The show ends with The Cape on top of a tall building. It's cool and Superhero-y.

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