The most predictable Oscars ever

This morning Mo'nique presented the oscar nominees, because she was in Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, probably. (I've always thought Queen Latifah would have been a better choice, but whatevs.) When I read the nominees I was like "OBVS" so many times.

BEST PICTURE

• Black Swan
• The Fighter
• Inception
• The Kids are All Right
• Toy Story 3
• The King’s Speech
• The Social Network
• True Grit
• Winter’s Bone
• 127 Hours

There's no doubt in my mind that The Social Network will win. I may be biased because The Social Network was my favorite movie in a very long time. I think The last half of Black Swan should be nominated because the first half was just the boring parts of The Wrestler, but with Nat's Ports* instead of Mickey Rourke. I wouldn't be too upset if The King's Speech won. That movie looks really good and anybody who's anybody raves about it. I'm still voting for The Social Network though.

*Natalie Portman should start a winery called Nat's Ports.

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

• Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
• Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
• James Franco, 127 Hours
• Jeff Bridges, True Grit
• Javier Bardem, Biutiful

Obviously, I'd like to Jesse Eisenburg win but I imagine he's going to get a lot of shit from people for "always playing the same part," which he definitely didn't do in this movie, but whatever. Jeff Bridges was really good too, as was Colin Firth, I assume. I liked James Franco in 127 Hours, but mostly because James Franco seems like a cool guy. I don't think Javier Bardem will win because Biutiful was "Pitiful," according to Armond White.

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

• Annette Bening, The Kids are All Right
• Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
• Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
• Natalie Portman, Black Swan
• Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Natalie Portman is getting all kinds of buzz for Black Swan (not to mention her future wine endeavor.) She should definitely win. If she wins we'll probably hear her laugh again, which is great/terrifying (kind of like Black Swan) Also, if she wins then she'll be inducted into Conan's Oscar Winner F-Bomb Hall of Fame.

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

• Christian Bale, The Fighter
• Mark Ruffalo, The Kids are All Right
• John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
• Jeremy Renner, The Town
• Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

I've heard good things about Kermit the frog in The Fighter, so I guess I'm rooting for him since Spiderman isn't nominated.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

• Amy Adams, The Fighter
• Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
• Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
• Melissa Leo, The Fighter
• Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

I'm always really amused by the preview for The King's Speech when Helena Bonham Carter sits on someone. I realize that isn't a testament to her acting ability, but it's still pretty funny.


BEST DIRECTOR

• Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
• David Fincher, The Social Network
• Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
• Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, True Grit
• David O. Russell, The Fighter

If David Fincher doesn't win, the Coen Bros. should. I feel like I should remind you, THE SOCIAL NETWORK WAS SO GOOD!

ANIMATED FILM

• How to Train Your Dragon
• The Illusionist
• Toy Story 3

Much like last year, I'm going to assume the only animated film to be nominated for best picture will win best animated film. Keep doing you, Pixar.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

• Mike Leigh, Another Year
• Scott Silver, Paul Tamasay, Eric Johnson, The Fighter
• Christopher Nolan, Inception
• Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids are All Right
• David Seidler, The King’s Speech

The King's Speech will definitely win this.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

• Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufroy, 127 Hours
• Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
• Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, True Grit
• Debra Granik and Anne Rosselini, Winter’s Bone
• John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich, Michael Arndt, Toy Story 3

Is Toy Story 3 considered an adapted screenplay because it's a sequel? Not that it matters, No one can catch The Social Network.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

• Biutiful, Mexico
• Dogtooth, Greece
• Incendies, Canada
• Outside the Law, Algeria
• In a Better World, Denmark

Farts, who cares, amirite?