Pitchfork Sunday was so Pitchfork Sunday-rific

If you're my friend/family, you know I went to pitchfork music festival Sunday. And if you're not my friend/family, I went to pitchfork music festival Sunday. (Also, who are you? I didn't realize we had readers outside people we went to school with and our parents.)

First: Cave. I couldn't tell you one cave song. But, they put on a really great show and I really liked it. Then Best Coast played. I was pretty near the stage and was like "This is cool." because it was. At one point Bethany Cosentino said "This song is about weed!" And the girl next to me held up her joint and yelled "This is for you Best Coast!!!" like, 5,000 times throughout the song. So that was really fun and not annoying at all. She finished her set with "When I'm with you" and everyone sang along and it was really fun. Then a bunch of people left and I got closer to the stage. Washed Out was the next band to play at that stage. I'm not a very big Washed Out fan, or at all, but Local Natives were up next and I wanted to see them. But halfway through Washed Out's set I got bored and decided eating a brat would be a better use of my time. And it was. If you aren't familiar with Washed Out, let me explain to you. Washed Out's live show is very similar to when I play music from my laptop when I'm washing dishes. The guy would just press a button on his laptop to trigger a beat and occasionally he would dance around. And it isn't like LCD Soundsystem that is really good to dance to. It's just, as his myspace says "no-fi." To be fair, he did make some cool beats. But three or four cool beats in a 45-minute set is not fun. It's boring. I'm not getting high in my neighbor's basement. I'm at an outdoor music festival in the heat. Do something interesting! So I left and ate a really good brat from some food booth that just said "darn good food" I couldn't find a restaurant or vendor name anywhere. But it was "darn good food." Then I walked over to B-Stage (where Cave, Best Coast and Washed Out had been playing) and caught about half of Local Natives set. What I saw was (check out that unprompted palindrome!) cool. Then I walked to the stage I thought St. Vincent was going to be playing at in 20 minutes and watched Lightning Bolt from afar. (Lightning Bolt was pretty cool/crazy from what I saw, but not nearly as crazy as Major Lazer.) As I later found out. St. Vincent would be starting at 5:15, not 4:45, like I thought. That mistake did get me really close to the stage though, so I'm not too upset. After waiting for nearly an hour for St. Vincent to start she (well, they) started. Their set was incredible. It helps that Annie Clark writes some of the most original music today. I was so close I could see Annie Clark's intricate finger movements on her guitar and OH. MY. GOD. She's incredible. She is so precise in where she places each of her fingers and she is so good at where she places each of her fingers. She has really long, skinny fingers. She is so good at guitar. And she is so good at singing. And she is so good at being gorgeous. And she is so good at writing music. She played "Your Lips Are Red" and in the middle of it she started to jam and it was so great. The instrumentation is so incredible and everyone playing with her was so talented. She is so incredibly passionate about her music. Whenever she would get really into it she would shake her guitar around beat the body with the fist, which really didn't effect the noise the guitar was making, but it was still really cool how into it she was. And she was so grateful for being there and the applause for the audience. So, after St. Vincent got me drunk on joy I walked around and waited for Big Boi and Pavement. As I was waiting in line for the bathroom I was watching Major Lazer. I was like "This is pretty crazy." and the girl in front of me got so distracted she didn't realize the line had moved, so I jumped in front of her. She noticed and said to me "Hey! You butted in front of me!" and I thought "I think you mean cut. Where are you from that people but in line? It's definitely cutting. That's the verb. It's what you do." So I said to her, I said, "Oh did I? I'm sorry." I wasn't really sorry. I was just being polite, because it's nice and she was cute. I offered to let her take her spot back, but she said it was fine. By the time I actually got to the bathroom I didn't want to go in because 1. it probably smelled/looked disgusting in there, and 2. Major Lazer was SO CRAZY ENTICING! I then decided, since Major Lazer is so great I'd watch him/them (?) while I waited for Pavement. So I swam my way through the side of the crowd to as close to the stage as I could get, which was probably one or two hundred feet away and off to the very steep right of the stage. I could only see about half the stage because there was a tarp over a tall fence next to me. But what I saw was CRAZY! It was like Aziz Ansari's description of an R. Kelly concert There were Chinese dragon dancers at one point and Ballerina's at another point and booty dancers were pretty much a constant! Between songs Switch, the main guy/hype man said "We got an ambulance, and we got a fire truck! But we ain't got the cops! What happens at pitchfork! Stays at pitchfork!" And if you haven't fallen in love with this band already he then screamed "We gonna get high! and we're gonna get drunk! and somebody's gonna get pregnant!" *huge cheers from the crowd* Then he just danced around and climbed ladders and jumped on woman who had their legs spread, while Diplo was DJing. Switch brought this one fat guy up on stage and made him lay down and the booty dancers jumped on him from atop a ladder. After a great set their time was up, but Switch convinced the people working to let them do one more song. He brought the Chinese dragons and the ballerinas and the booty dancers all back up on stage and they all had a huge party. At the end of his last song he popped champagne all over the crowd. So that was pretty much the best. After Major Lazer's set everyone assumed everyone would leave. But only a few people from the middle left.. Luckily, enough people left so I could get up to the third row for Pavement. Then I stood there, unable to move, for an hour and half. I met some people North Carolina (i think) and I talked to this girl about how cool it would be if Pavement had booty dancers like Major Lazer (they didn't). From where I was standing for pavement, I could kind of see Big Boi. He performed his part of B.O.B. and Ms. Jackson. And everyone sang along with the chorus. He also performed Shutterbug. But he didn't do Tightrope, unfortunately. So, after a very long 90 minutes, waiting for Pave and the Mints a blue light shined on the stage. We all thought it meant pavement was coming out to play. But no. It was just a blue light. It was entertaining enough though, because this this very loud, drunk guy kept raving, sarcastically, about how great the blue light was. Then when it turned off he started chanting for it's return. After a few more minutes this guy walked on stage and told us about how he used to work for this radio station in the '90s and they broke a bunch of alternative artists, but they could never do it for Pavement. He talked for quite a few minutes too long and told us about how Pitchfork is kind of like Lollapalooza Jr. People were getting pissed and throwing things at him. At the end of his speech he said "Now, enjoy Pavement you humorless fucks!" Then we all laughed/booed and ultimately cheered. Stephen Malkmus shook the guys hand and had a laugh. He came up to the microphone and said "This is 'Cut Your Hair'" and everyone cheered. As soon as the song started people tried to rush the stage and created a wave of people singing "Cut Your Hair." It was amazing. That pretty much continued throughout all the songs. They also performed Shady Lane, Stereo, Silence Kit, Stop Breathin', Trigger Cut, Two States, Range Life, Spit on a Stranger and a bunch of others. Singing along to a band you thought you'd never ever see live with thousands of other people is the coolest thing ever.

Oh shit! I forgot to see Sleigh Bells!