Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Persons Unknown has both failed to bore and failed to entice me.

Joe and Janet talk about Bees in the gazebo in the middle of town. Janet knows a weird amount about bees, but explains it away easily. Joe steps on the bee Janet caught with her bare hands (plot twist, Janet's a ninja), killing it and upsetting Janet. Didn't Joe even see The Happening or The Wickerman? He claims that he is deathly allergic to bees. Janet mentions how the bees should be in their winter slumber, or something. I don't know. Bee science. Ask Mark Whalberg. It's strange that she mentions the fact that it's winter because in the first episode it was definitely nowhere near winter, since Janet's daughter was playing at a park in shorts and a t-shirt. Suddenly, however, it's cold! This has never been mentioned before in the show, yet it was a major plot point of this episode. That cold night a taxi drove through the pain barrier surrounding the town. Tori (the hot party girl) blatantly stated "It drove through the pain barrier." Thanks, we noticed when it happened. Subtlety is not this shows strong suit. So the taxi driver begins speaking in Arabic and says Janet's name. So she's like "OK! I'LL GET IN THE TAXI! HOW COULD THIS NOT BE A GOOD IDEA?!?!" Meanwhile, Joe and Graham try to ward her away from the taxi, for obvious reasons. One: Because it's a shady taxi in a mysterious town driven by someone who can't tell you anything. Two: "He looks like a terrorist!" That's what the used car salesman (who's not actually a used car salesman) said. I think his name's Bill. He's definitely my least favorite character. He's obviously written to be very unlikeable, and he comes across as that. So that's a good part of this show. Throughout this episode he tries to convince Charlie to invest in an idea of his. Private parks. He would call his chain "Freshairrr. All one word, with three As" How could you not so yes to that? Simple: It sounds like a terrible idea. The only reason Charlie is attached to this is because Bill continues to blackmail him with his wife's murder. When Bill first brings this up to Charlie (and every other time he talks to him) he calls Charlie "Chuck." "I wish I had a friend named Charlie so I could call him Chuck." Immediately after my thinking that Charlie says, "My name's Charlie." Aw, man. Elsewhere, Moira has no story arc in this episode. yeah!? not really. Moira's a pretty interesting character. Plus, her lesbionic interest (that's a words, right?) in Tori was interesting because it wasn't like "LOOK GAY PEOPLE." It was more like, "aw, shy romantic relationship anyone can relate to." So, Janet decides to get in the car and is told she can bring one other. She brings Joe because, budding relationship between the two main characters, and stuff. As they're driving the taxi's tire pops and they need to pull over. The taxi driver takes out a machete, opens the trunk, and chops the top of two coconuts off and gives them to his passengers, just like any taxi driver would do. He grabs the jack and begins removing the popped tire. Suddenly a semi truck comes barreling down the empty road and destroys the taxi and driver. Janet and Joe decide to walk the rest of the way to civilization. They come across a small, abandoned house as it begins to get dark. They decide to sleep there for the night. "The CGI stars are so pretty." says Janet. "How do you know they're CGI?" asks Joe. "Because, we're on a television show." Janet explains. That's basically the conversation they have before sleeping IN THE SAME BED. When they wake up they find bees EVERYWHERE! They walk out of the house very slowly. They begin walking down the street, looking for some sort of life. They walk for pretty much the entire day. The come over a hill to see the town they've been stuck in for weeks. Janet freaks out. Joe Sean Conneries her. Back in the town Tori is crying to her "daddy" to let her leave. She gets really depressed while looking back on her life and gets drunk in the gazebo. Graham comes up to her and listens to her talk about her relationship with her very wealthy and important father. As you can imagine, it's not the best relationship. But Graham is really nice and instead of taking advantage of the hurting girl he just listens to her and gives her an encouraging word. Way to go favorite character! Eventually, when no one is paying attention, a taxi pulls into town and she leaves town. Moira/everyone's going to be so upset. As Joe and Janet walk back into the hotel everyone looks at them, shocked. They actually thought they would succeed? Don't they get it yet? Joe and Janet take the elevator up to their floor and Janet says "Joe, will you stay with me tonight? No one else understands what I've been through except you and I want to make love." Although, she may have also said "I don't want to make love." because she was speaking very softly and was hard to hear. So they go to bed together and maybe have sex. Joe gets up the next morning and walks over to the chinese restaurant and tries to order take out. But he isn't actually trying to order take out. He and the head chef are actually speaking in code. Joe is brought to the back room and the chef begins speaking in a clear American accent. Joe is upset about Janet and the chef asks him if he's threatening withdrawal. Joe says he isn't, he's just worried about Janet's well-being. So, Joe's in on it. Does that mean he isn't actually deathly allergic to bees? This show is approaching LOST-level confusing. All of the questions will be answered by the end of the summer! This one included, hopefully! (Remember, this is only a miniseries.)

Another thing I enjoyed about this episode was the use of "The Night Manager." The creepy guy who does nothing but confuse the kidnapees. In this episode, Tori tries seducing him t get information, but it doesn't work. This character is incredibly engaging. I think NBC has a chance at a spin-off here. The character is so interesting because we know literally nothing about him other than his job title. Everything he says is taken with a grain of salt by the characters and the audience. Obviously, the spin-off would probably be terrible. But I think if they created a show similar to the always moderately interesting "Persons Unknown," a group of people, trapped in this small town, but instead of focusing on the people they focused on the Night Manager, it may be about the same amount of interesting.

This episode made it official for me. I do like this show. I still don't think it's great, but it's interesting enough and I like most of the characters. Even though I don't like Bill, I still think he's a good character. It's definitely improved since the first episode and I'll definitely enjoy watching the rest of the show. Unfortunately, I think this is the last episode with Tori, who I was really starting to like.

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