Sunday, August 2, 2009
Megan Wants a Millionaire is so much better than expected!
Megan Wants a Millionaire premiered tonight and, boy oh boy, it was incredible. The show was originally called "Trophy Wife," I think the new name is much better. The show started with Megan standing in front of a mansion greeting each of her "suitors" at the door and Niles narrating. Niles is the british butler. I can already tell this is going to be the classiest VH1 show ever. Once all the guys are in the house Brandi C. from Rock of Love and Cecille (pronounced Sea-sill) from Beauty and the Geek step out of a limo and are apparently judges. Megan gives each of the guys a present. There are 17 guys, excuse me, Millionaires vying for Megan's affection. My personal favorite is Donald. Donald is a 50 year old movie producer who you can see in the picture. When he wears his glasses he looks like an uglier version of Milton from Office Space. I also really like David, who calls himself "Double 0 Dave" I don't remember why I like him so much, he just seems like a normal person. One of my least favorites is Audi, yeah, that's his name. But it's ok because he gets eliminated, along with two others. Two of the contestants are "Trust fund babies" but one of them is a waiter who lives with his parents and waits for his Grandpa to die. I think an apt nickname for him would have been "The Waiter" but it doesn't matter because he gets eliminated with Audi and one other person. The other trust fund baby is worth $10 million and one of the most annoying people in the world. His name is Joe and I can't blame him for being so annoying because Garth broke his glittery Piggy Bank, which was a gift from Megan. (They all got gifts, but that's not important.) Now Garth, geez, Garth's a character, lemme tell ya' (I think Sarah Palin wrote that last sentence.) Garth is not only an owner of a plumbing business, but also a plumber in said business. He gets in a lot of shit on and off the show. (Puns!) Al is another Millionaire on the show. He's labeled as "The Nervous Guy" and for good reason. When he first talks to Megan he stumbles over his words and is incredibly awkward. So, to redeem himself he gives Megan a foot massage and somehow brings the conversation to his jaw. He tells Megan he has "Dog Jaw." You should be able to tell from the quotation marks that "Dog Jaw" is going to turn out badly. Al directs Megan to put her finger on his jaw. When she does he snaps his head at her and barks in her face. She spills her drink and Al "The great foot massager" goes back to Al "The guy who thinks that barking in a girl's face is a good idea" like he was at the beginning of the show. ugh. That guy has no game. Unlike me??? That's what Ralph was saying, but without the question marks. I don't like Ralph. He broke Joe's glittery piggy bank because he was annoyed with listening to Joe and Donald talk about movies. At elimination Megan gave 14 of the millionaires credit cards. But, for three of the guys their credit was "not approved." This is by far the best way anyone's been eliminated from a show on VH1. The three millionaires who were eliminated were Audi, because he sucked, 'The Waiter," because "he could be [Megan's] prince charming someday, but SOMEDAY." Donald was the third guy to be eliminated because he was so unattractive. When he was eliminated he said. I'll take the advice of Lady Gaga and "Just Dance" I'm so happy to replace that "hot" "blonde" Daisy with this hot "blonde" Megan.