Monday, May 24, 2010

LOST finale forever

Did you know the Lost SERIES finale was on last night? It's true! Twitter is all a-twitter about it (probably). That's what twitter means, right? If you didn't read my recap of THE ENTIRE SHOW on saturday, 1. sorry, 2. I'll catch you up again: Jack is the new Jacob, The Smoke Monster has taken over Locke's body, you know, island stuff. So now they're fighting over the island. Jack wants to protect it and Locke wants to destroy it, which seems a bit harsh. Early on in the season he just wanted to leave, now he wants to destroy it? sheesh, I think Locke should leave-- go to counseling. Oh, also if you've missed this season, there is an equal but opposite timeline. Like Benjamin Button, but not really. In the other timeline all of the losties go to this concert. It is implied that at the concert something crazy/island-y is going to happen. But it doesn't. They just all happen to know the same people who are putting on the concert. On the island Locke and Jack lower Desmond into the cave of light and Desmond takes this cork off a drain, which is apparently the drain to the island. The island is actually a bathtub. PLOT TWIST! Then desmond passes out and Mordor comes up from the drain. fire and red and loud noises and Sauron. (but not actually Sauron.) At some point Locke and Jack are fighting on a cliff and Jack does this super awesome jump punch! JUMP PUNCH! Which, ultimately, results in nothing. He just hits the ground and rolls around a little bit. Locke stabs him in the gut. Then Locke gets on top of Jack and starts slitting his throat, very slowly. If you're going to kill someone, shouldn't you do it quickly so Kate doesn't shoot you while you're trying to kill someone? Maybe it's just me. Oh yeah, Kate shoots Locke and he falls over. Then Locke falls off a cliff and dies. Meanwhile, Miles and Richard are like "LOL! Let's blow up a plane! yeaaah!" As they're rowing to the island with the plane they come across Lapidus. ALIVE! He looks at them and says "worst submarine party I've ever been to," I wish. They pick him up and they all have a laugh. Isn't it hilarious when subs explode and then that one guy dies? (not sayid/jin/sun, the captain of the sub.) So then Lapidus is like "Blow up the plane! I am a pilot! I believe we can fly!" Lapidus is R. Kelly. So they go to the plane and start it up, but the wheels need duct tape. Miles! go! Miles duct tapes the wheel. Back at the cave Jack is like "I WILL FIX IT! I AM JACK!" and Hurley's like "No! You're gonna kill yourself." and Jack's like "yeah." So Jack makes Hurley drink mud water out of a crushed water bottle. Now Hurley is the new Jack is the new Jacob. So Jack goes into the cave and puts the cork back on Mordor and everything is good again. In the flash-sideways everyone at the concert, plus a few, migrate to the church with the dharma station in the basement (in the original timeline) Jack goes in there and everybody is there and everybody loves each other. Jack's dad tells him about how everyone dies and this place, sideways-reality, is a sort of limbo between life and the after life so everyone can go to heaven together. How sweet. Jack then wakes up in the river and runs around the jungle, holding his wound. He collapses and looks in the sky to see the plane take off with Lapidus, Sawyer, Miles, Richard, Claire and Kate. Vincent lays down next to Jack and the camera shows only Jack's eye, which closes.


So, er'vybody's like "Wasitagoodending?!?!" (People don't understand spaces) I say yes. The show as a whole wasn't about the island or it's mythology or the reasoning behind why the island was what it was. The show was about these people, mostly Jack. So, yeah, it was a good ending. He died in the end and went to heaven with Kate, who is the worst, but whatever, he loves her for whatever reason. The ending wasn't great, but it definitely wasn't terrible.

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