Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I think the people who work for VH1 hate themselves and have had enough.

Last night there was a new episode of Real Chance of Love! It was quite possibly the best episode of any VH1 show EVER. (note: "ALL VH1 shows" excludes Best Week Ever and I Love the 70s, 80s, 90s) The ladies met Real and Chance's parents!! Their dad is really cool, and their mom is nice. BUT THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT! They all got ready to go to Palm Springs (maybe, not sure where they went... don't really care.) As they walked into the hotel the parents were already there! (OH NO!) Everyone was so embarrassed they didn't look nicer, especially Rabbit, who really shouldn't worry about looking ugly. (Corn Fed was chill.) Real introduced his ladies as Corn Fed, Bay Bay Bay and Milfy. Then Mrs. Real's mom said "Hi Milfy" and Real was all "Oh, no, here name is actually Milf. I just called her Milfy" and his mom just said "Oh, okay." Real takes his ladies and parents to this cowboy, ranch, place. First he takes Milf and his parents to look for gold. Milf talked about herself and may have flirted with Real's mom. Then she was asked "How would your son feel about having a black step father?" (By the way, Milf has a son.) What was probably 1 - 2 seconds was made, with editing into an excruciating 10 seconds, I was just waiting for the commercial. It didn't come Milf just said "He has a black father." and everyone was all "Oh, that's good." and there was smiling and laughing. Real found gold. Not in Milf, he sifted through some dirt and found gold. Milf sucks. They all came back into the covered area of said ranch and Real says "What are you sneaky ladies doing here?" or something, he called them sneaky for being there, even though they were left there. Oh, also Bay Bay Bay and Corn Fed were talking about banding together to take down Milf. Real takes Corn Fed and his parents to learn how to lasso a bull and Corn Fed says "Maybe you could teach me how to ride one!" Did she mean penis? I hope not, penises are gross. But Corn Fed is the sweetest girl in the world. Corn Fed tries to lasso, but fails, Real tries and Corn Fed talks to his parents. She was supposed to talk bad about Milf, but she reveals in a talking head she can't do that, she isn't like that. She just says both girls are really nice and that she loves real a lot. Real then takes Bay Bay Bay shooting, also his parents. While Real is shooting, Bay Bay Bay talks to his parents about Milf, saying she's a liar and did Playboy. (ew, have you seen Milf, and Milf's arms?) They then go have a nice peaceful dinner, except NOT! Bay Bay Bay talks about Milf the whole time and they yell a lot. Corn Fed doesn't get involved. After the dinner the ladies go back to the room and Real talks to his parents. Corn Fed = quiet, but really sweet. Milf = unsure. Bay x3 = REALLY strong. they put the emphasis on really as if she's insane. (Also, Bay x3 is insane.) BaAaAaAAck at the room Bay tré is still ranting about Milf and Milf goes outside and smokes. Then the other ladies go outside and Bay tré is STILL ranting about Milf. Milf has had it! HAD IT! She stampedes outside and says "I know you've ****ed Chance's ****." Does she mean penis? She knows you've penised chance's penis? gross. She knows you've kicked Chance's Dog? Cleaned Chance's Glasses? There is NO way of knowing! The bleeps make me so confused! While she's yelling this everyone is really confused because she isn't really looking at anyone. Finally she says "YOU!" and points at risky. "Me?" says risky? "I've never cleaned anyone's glasses in my life." Milf says it came "straight from the horses mouth." Real is the horse, apparently, Does she referencing penis? I hope not, that wouldn't really make sense. Milf realizes her mistake, Real told her about the glasses cleaning in secrecy. Risky is PIIIISSSSED AAWFFF. Oh, by the way, during Real's time at the Ranch, Chance took his ladies to a tattoo parlor. classy. Risky got one on her shoulder that said "Stallionette." Cali got the same K that's on Chance's neck on hers (Chance's name starts with a K). Rabbit, being the rational girl she is, decided not to get a specific tattoo. She decided to get an Asian symbol that means love, but she told Chance it means Chance. How lovely. We're back to the fight. Risky is PIIIISSSSED AAWFFF. She storms off the balcony, out of the room and towards Real's room. Risky rings the doorbell to Real's apparent building. Milf, in a talking head, says "I have to stop
Risky any way I can." The screen goes black and we hear what sounds like someone being bludgeoned and dragged. I think the VH1 workers did this because they hate themselves and need a little humor. Then, "To be continued..." The preview for next week shows an alive, unbruised, risky, so I'm not worried.

Corn Fed will win.
Risky will probably win.

If I had to choose between the six of them I would eliminate Cali next, then Milf, then Bay tré, then Risky, then Rabbit, and Corn Fed would win!

Corn Fed and Mr. Boston should get there own show if Corn Fed loses. It could be called, "Accent of Love" I would watch it.

UPDATE: I just remembered, in the preview for next week, Milf says she's leaving. WHY?! Please do.

1 comment:

Marissa said...

This episode was chaos. I can't believe you want Cali to go home next. Bay x3 took out a Bible and tried making valid points by emphasizing random words and adding her own nonsensical words of wisdom.

In the next episode, I'm pretty sure Milf takes out/exterminates Chance to draw attention from her crazy self.