Thursday, May 19, 2011
As you probably know by now, this Saturday marks the definite rapture, for real. People have been saying the world is ending on Saturday, which is not true. May 21 marks the Rapture, or Judgement Day. The world is ending five months later, on October 21. This Saturday, all of the good, god-loving, god-fearing christians will ascend into heaven and leave everyone else on earth. Then on October 21, 2011 the world will end. So, you need not worry about Saturday* because you will either ascend into heaven or live on the earth with a third less people. We're not living on the post-apocalyptic, zombie-ridden, sunless, leathery society** we've all dreamt of for those five months. If you somehow survive October 21, props to you. I hope it's everything Roland Emmerich imagined.
*because the rapture isn't real.
**feel free to add any of your favorite futuristic movie cliches to that list.