Friday, February 11, 2011
Valium Times Day Jersey Shore
Last night's NBC sitcoms were all about Valentine's Day, because holidays! I guess that makes this episode of the Jersey Shore the Valentine's episode as well. And Valentine's it was. I often give the Sammi/Ronnie episodes shit because they're incredibly uninteresting and repetitive and uninteresting. But this one was a lot better because Mike got involved. Apparently Mike had promised Ronnie that he had his back. You may know it as "Guy Code." Sammi and Ronnie get into a huge, near breaking point, fight. Later, Sammi and Mike are talking about it. Mike says that their relationship is unhealthy. Ronnie is in the bathroom hearing their conversation and thinks Mike is more committed to girl code than guy code. I think that may be why Sammi and Ronnie are perfect for each other, because they're both crazy people. Ronnie is really upset about Mike going back on his word. Mike's goes to work and Ronnie tells everyone about what he did. When Mike comes back he asks everyone "Want to go get something to eat?" and Ronnie says "Why don't you aks Sammi, she's your friend." Mike's confused and says "We're all friends." Then Ronnie freaks out and starts yelling about Guy Code and Miami and a bunch of other stuff. Who knows/cares? Mike decides the only way to diffuse the situation (but not The Situation) is to apologize. So he does, and it works. The two hug it out and all is well. However, Ronnie and Sammi are still in their perpetual fight. Let me remind of what Sammi said when they most recently broke up: "I will move my stuff out of the room tomorrow." Since then they reconciled or something. But now they've broken up again. Officially. It's over. Really, you guys. Sammi decides to go out with the girls and Ronnie with the guys. Sammi is putting make up on the closet door/mirror and Ronnie walks into the room and asks to open the closet and proceeds to do so. Ronnie asks her to get her shit out of his room and Sammi freaks out "YOUR room?!" Then they get into a huge fight again. Mike is also in the room and runs downstairs to get Pauly D and Vinny's help, because the fight is escalating quickly. Ronnie starts throwing her stuff outside. He picks up her bed and she leaps on it trying to weigh it down. But, Ronnie is the hulk so Sammi's 110 lbs. does almost nothing to weigh down the bed. He throws her mattress outside. Vinny and Pauly D are pulling the star-crossed lovers away from each other. Ronnie is walking backwards away from Sammi and Sammi is trying to run toward Ronnie yelling "I hate you! I hate you!" over and over. But really, when ever she said "I hate you" she really meant "I love you." The guys eventually settle Ronnie down and they go to the club. Snooki and Deena come up with this great idea to get Sammi really hot and go out to the club. While Sammi is getting dressed, Snooki and Deena decide to take Sammi's bed down to the girl's room. Great idea! They can't get the bed downstairs because it's too big and they're too stupid to realize the bed comes apart. Snooki says "The bed saw too big to get down the stairs. It's kind of an analogy of trying to get Vinny's penis in my pinhole." Yep. Thanks Snooki. So Sammi gets all hot and the girls all go out. Sammi comes up with this great idea to hook up with the hottest guy in the club to spite Ronnie. She's "going to get Ronnie back the only way she knows how." But, I thought she hated him. Even though they both bragged to each other about bringing someone home, neither of them did. Ronnie came home first and destroyed Sammi's stuff even further. Sammi came home soon after and found her glasses broken. Mike and Ronnie are sitting outside when Sammi comes outside with her broken glasses, crying. Mike leaves the two to talk to each other and Mike has one of the best lines in the shows history. In a talking head interview he says "Ronnie's talking to me about guy code, but what about basic human code." Strangely profound, Situation. Ronnie tells Sammi that she really embarrassed him at the club and she said that he had embarrassed her plenty of times. Ronnie apologizes about everything he's ever done to hurt her, but she still isn't satisfied. She's just to broken. The next morning she talks to each of the roommates one-on-one about her leaving. When Ronnie asks Vinny what she's talking about he says "It has something to do with packing and it rhymes with... weaving." So Ronnie goes to talk to her and then they cry on each other's shoulder. Multiple times Sammi has told Ronnie he will never be with someone like her, but he will be, always. He just has to look in the mirror. So, Sammi leaves and everything should be good now, right?