Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This season of The Jersey Shore is nearly as good as Season One of Jersey Shroe

I think that we can all agree that Season two of the Jersey Shore was terrible. It was uninteresting and hard to watch. But, Season one was actually fascinating. This season is no season one, I'm willing to admit that. But it is so much better than season two, which was the worst. I'll try to recap every episode of this season, because it's really great and I like it. As much as these people have become parodies of themselves, I still find their lives incredibly interesting. It was fairly evident in season one that all these people had huge egos, and those egos have been inflated by each season. In season two, because of his ego, if The Situation didn't get what he wanted he would become really rapey and it was hard to watch. But last night's SPECIAL EPISODE was fantastic. Because these people have been staples of MTV, household names even (!), they can get away with pretty much whatever they want. Even the Sammi and Ronnie story line (which is the worst) seems to be coming to a close. Unfortunately, that means we still have to hear from the two of them for a few minutes each episode. As always, they're fighting about nothing. All this drama started with the infamous letter explaining what Ronnie did when he and Sammi WERE BROKEN UP in early season two. Maybe I'm siding with Ronnie because I'm a male and so is he. Maybe I'm siding with Ronnie because Sammi because is a bitch, the sweetest bitch I'll ever meet in fact. Ever since Sammi read they've been fighting. But, they aren't fighting about the letter anymore. They're fighting about Sammi's insecurities. For whatever reason Sammi doesn't trust that Ronnie's being faithful to her, which is ridiculous because all he ever does is lay in bed (or LIE in bed if you ask Sammi! Terrible pun, sorry.) with Sammi. That night, everybody goes out to the club. B2B (Back to basics.) The first, and quite possibly greatest, thing that happens at the club is Deena's getting incredibly drunk and subsequently getting kicked out of the club within the first ten minutes of being there. (If you're wondering how she got so drunk in ten minutes, she was drinking before they left the house.) I like Deena. As she's said on multiple occasions, she a walking holiday, by which she means, she's a walking "That one movie with Queen Latifah." Just kidding. She means she gets drunk a lot. She was sticking to form that night, just like everyone else. MVP was MVPing. Sammi and Ronnie were being antisocial and uninteresting and J-Woww and Snooki were being awesome (?). Because of their celebrity, I assume, they were able to go up to the empty top floor of KARMA. They have their own dance club, because why not? It's not like the point of a dance club is to be rubbed upon by strangers. That's the point, right? I've only ever been to a dance club once and it was awful. J-Woww has to pee, but there are no bathrooms on the second floor of the club. GREAT LAYOUT KARMA! The obvious solution is to pee behind the empty bar. DUH! Eventually everyone goes home and Deena really wants to smoosh, smush? with The Situation. But, the situation isn't into it. Snooki's bummed because Vinny won't sleep with her. Snooki comes up with the brilliant idea to have a threesome with Mike! Yeah! This show is tops! Mike's pretty excited, because, um threesome. Who cares if the girls are repulsive? Once they all get in bed, Snooki slips away. Sweet move Snooki! Now Mike is stuck with Deena, oh, did I mention the potential threesome was with Deena, because it was. Mike must use his patented move, the kitchen ditchin'. Classic. He goes down to the kitchen and ditches Deena. Sweet move Mike! So, that day is finally over. The next day Snooki is WAY too hung over to go to work, but she does anyway, in a blanket and slippers. Upon arriving at work, she tries to steal beer from the refrigerator. Before asking yourself, the employees drink on the job? Remember, this a t-shirt shop at the Jersey Shore. At some point between Snooki being hungover and her being drunk again, Sammi apologizes for being the worst person ever. NOW THAT'S OVER, right? Snooki decides to go get a coffee, but takes shots with old people instead. B2B. Snooki eventually gets off work and takes more shots! Yeah! This show is tops! J-Woww and Deena meet her and Snooki gets more and more drunk. She darts down the boardwalk screaming "Where's the beach?" She sees this old guy and asks him "Where's the beach?" He points behind him, because they live on the beach. Snooki finally finds an entrance and runs into the water, with her clothes and purse and everything. J-Woww and Deena catch her and bring her back onto the beach. They're almost back to the boardwalk when Snooki runs back at the water. Some cops show up to help her home. She's really rude to the cops and they arrest her for public intoxication. J-Woww and Deena didn't even know you could be arrested for such things. This show is tops!

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