If the joy of painting was played on every station all over the world, there would be no wars.

Recently my family updated television watching, HD, on demand, DVR, the whole deal. I like recording things on said DVR. Last week I set up a "series recording" for "The Best of the Joy of Painting" When I first came across this show, I thought to myself "Isn't EVERY episode of the joy of painting the best of the joy of painting?" I did some research to find out if I should also be recording regular JoP. As it turns out, I was right, the show was just renamed and rerun after Bob Ross died in 1995 of lymphoma. On the episode I watched today, Mr. Ross painted a golden knoll. As you may imagine, it was incredible. He began with a pallet of, in his words, "nice warm colors." AKA, browns. Today, Bob Ross taught me to appreciate the color brown as more than "the same color as shit." Brown is also the color of chocolate, who doesn't like chocolate? (Whoever the are, they don't deserve tongues! Why have a tongue if you don't massage it with chocolate?!) I should take a lesson from Bob Ross and cool down. He is so unbelievably calm at all times. I don't know how he does it. Bob Ross is great because he will seemingly completely mutilate his canvas with paint, and through some sort of magical painting abilities he creates a masterpiece. Some highlights from the "Golden Knoll" episode:

5. He painting a new tree, he asks "Where is this tree going to live?" He paints a line for the trunk, "right over the other tree, oh ok, your tree can live wherever you'd like it."

4. As he's painting trees he says "Only god can create trees, but you can paint them."

3. "We don't make mistakes, we just make happy accidents."

2. Mr. Ross is using his fan brush to paints an evergreen, and then another one right next to the first and says, "Everyone needs a friend, even trees."

1. Bob Ross (who, by the way, is Bob Ross or Mr. Ross, I will never call him Bob.) decides to paint a house "right here on this hill." He uses his knife to scrape black paint onto the canvas in a shape that sorta looks like a house, if you're told it looks like a house. He then mixes a couple different browns and some white to create a marble color. He gets a nice roll of paint on his knife and starts with the roof. He says "BLOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP!" He's made shingles. "It only works if you make the sounds."

In an upcoming episode Bob Ross is going to paint a barn at sunset!

We've started a new way of ranking things. From now on, everything stays on the list. The list is ever expanding. (Also I've put the best things be at the top.)

This show falls just under Radiohead, therefore being kooler than Seinfeld.

Teddy Roosevelt/Bruce Campbell
High Fidelity
Samuel L. Jackson
Radiohead
Joy of Painting
Seinfeld
Tokyo Police Club
Aviator Sunglasses
Google
The Sims
Season 2 of LOST
Under the Influence of Giants
Cells phones
Jet's "Are you gonna be my girl"
High School Musical
Across the Universe