Thursday, January 29, 2009

LOST "Jughead" Recap - Tales From the Sick Ward

I'm home sick today, so I figured I'd rewatch the excellent third episode of Season 5, and break it down for you, scene by scene.

Scene 1: HOLY SHIT! Penny is having a baby! "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEN?" Ugly, non-realistic looking baby, too. It's a boy!

Scene 2: Desmond is talking to his suddenly older son about an Island. Guess what? It's not THE island, he's talking about Great Britain and, more specifically, Scotland (which is beautiful because it has Glens and Monsters(?)) Desmond is heading to Oxford to look for Faraday's Mom at the moment. "I HAVE TO DO THIS PENNY."

Scene 3: HOLYFUCKINGSHIT! TRIPWIIIIIIRE! LOOOOK OUUUUUTTTT! Oh, phew. A couple of nameless, generic islanders got killed by it. No big deal. Except, now Faraday, Miles, and Charlotte are surrounded by Others with Compound bows(!), and one gun (which is being wielded by a girl that looks like she's no older than 16). "You couldn't leave it alone, could you?" lol wut!

Scene 4: Desmond explaining his need to follow up on his "memory" to Pen. He then says he will be done with the island "...forever (I promise)" after this ordeal is done. Sure, Desmond, sure... You're a free spirit, Des, you can't be tied down!

Scene 5: Miles - They were blown up by one of your trip mines.
Girl - We didn't put them there, you did.

Meanwhile... John points out exactly what I noticed: that one of those dudes he took down had a BRAND NEW M1 Garand rifle (which is WWII issue). "The right question, James, is WHEN the hell are we." The guys they captured are revealed to be "others," after Juliet catches them speaking Latin to eachother.

Scene 6: Miles notices a fresh grave filled with U.S. soldiers (with his ghost sensibilities), and mentions that one of the three buried died from radiation poisoning. Also, RICHARD ALPERT! BEST! His agelessness is SO endearing!

Rich: What's your name?
Dan: What's YOUR name? (SOOO CLEVER!)
Rich: Richard Alpert. I assume you've come back for your bomb.

Scene 7: Des goes to Oxford looking for Faraday's mum. Oxford says that there never was a Daniel Faraday employed by Oxford. Des can't remember the year he visited him, BECAUSE OF THE TIME PARADOX!
Des notices a room in the physics dept. that's being "fumigated." He breaks in and finds all of Faradays old rat-testing stuff. He also sees a pic of Danny with some girl (more on that later).

Scene 8: BUSTED! Janitor: "I wonder when someone would find out we weren't just fumigatin' it." Des makes a pact with Janny boy to say he didn't find anything. Apparently Dan did something to "[a] poor girl," who we'll assume is the one in the photo (it is).

Scene 9: The island could shift in 5 minutes, or 5000 YEARS according to Faraday. Dan decides to let the others keep thinking that they're U.S. military.

Rich: "We didn't start this, friend." (YEAH!)

Scene 10: UNSTABLE H BOMB! Faraday is really perceptive, or just knows more than everyone else. He then proves he's not on a suicide mission (HOME RUN (Jake is the only one who will get that reference)) by saying how much he loves Charlotte (AWWWW).

Scene 11: Juliet's latin is TERRIBLE. The one (the one without a British accent) Other is about to tell them where their camp is when the other dude BREAKS HIS SPINE! Awesome sauce, LOST, pure awesome sauce. Locke fails to shoot the assailant as he runs off (THIS IS HUGE LATER), and justifies it by saying: "because... he's one of my people."

Scene 12: Des goes looking for Theresa Spencer, the girl in the photo. Turns out she's on life support (courtesy of CHARLES WIDMORE!), because Faraday's experiments fucked her up. Her brain appears to be going through different parts of her past (when she was 3, 5 years ago). "Of course. Why wouldn't you want to stay? Daniel didn't..." Turns out Widmore was the one funding Faraday's research. In the words of Steve Doucey: "THIS. IS. HUUUUUGE!"

Scene 13: Daniel tells Charlotte that he said what he meant and he meant what he said about loving her. The child soldier comes to take him to the bomb (along with her m1a1 carbine, also circa WWII). Richard tells Dan that he had to kill the U.S. army batallion that was sent after they refused to leave the island peacefully. The BA other runs back to camp to report about Locke, Sawyer and Juliet to Richard. "Their leader is some sodding old man! You think he can track me? You think he knows the island better than I do?" Yeah he does, douchebag!

Scene 14: Guess what? Locke did track him. Big surprise. They see Faraday being marched towards the bomb (Sawyer thinks they're death marching him). Locke wants to talk to Richard, because he wants to know how to save the Island.

Scene 15: Faraday thinks the child soldier looks a lot like someone he used to know. She looks a lot like Penny, so I'm thinking she's Penny's mom (more proof on this later). She asks who Faraday is: "I'm the best chance of disarming this bomb." Guess what? The bomb is massive and is hanging from a wooden scaffold. Good luck, bra.

Scene 16: Faraday is in way over his head. He notices that the bomb has a leak in its casing, which would probably explain the radiation burns/poisoning from earlier. Obviously, he gets the fuck away. "Do you people have any access to lead, or concrete?" Dan says they have to bury the bomb. BURY THE BOMB! He lets slip that they're from fifty years... IN THE FUTURE. She chambers a round, like most people would do. Just then, Sawyer barges in: "PUT THE GUN DOWN, BLONDIE!" Juliet has the same smug look on her face that she always does, duh.

Blondie: "Are they from the future, too?"
Sawyer: "YOU TOLD HER?" (Smooooth, Sawyer)

Scene 17: Des, in the height of rudeness, charges past Widmore's secretary into his office. Desmond mentions that he knows about Widmore funding Faraday's research and says that Widmore will: "never see him again" if he answers Des' questions. He wants to know where Faraday's mum is.

Widmore: "Desmond, I haven't heard from my Daughter for three years. Is she okay?"
Des: "WHERE'S FARADAY'S MOTHER" (Again, smoooooth)
Widmore: "She's in LA. She's a VERY private person. Wait. You're in way over your head. Get out of this mess. Don't put Penny's life in danger. Wherever you were hiding, go back there."
Des: "Thanks for the advice." (translation: FUCK YOU, OLD MAN!)

Scene 18: John sneaks into Richard's camp totally incognito. Actually, he just runs in screaming: "RICHARD ALPERT! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!" BA Other chambers a round and points his gun at Locke:

John: My name is John Locke.
Rich: Is that supposed to mean something?
John: Jacob sent me.
Rich: Put the gun down, Widmore(!!!!!! OMGZ)
John: Your name is Widmore? Charles Widmore?
Widmore (or, BA Other): What's it to you?
John: Nothing... nice to meet you.

HOLY SHIT! BA Other is CHARLES WIDMORE? Whoa. They finally explain some things.

Scene 19: Des heads back to the boat to see Penny. He tells her that they're done, and he'll forget all about Faraday's request. Penny is all like: " Why are you lying to me? I know you'll never forget, Des. We're going to LA." Awwww, they're such a good couple. Also, their kid's name is Charlie! They should make sure that him and Aaron should never meet, because Aaron is teh suck and has been ruined by Kate.

Scene 20: John shows Richard the compass and explains to him their meeting from the future. He also tells him that he's the leader of the others, and that he has to find Locke as a kid (Season 4, anyone?), because selecting a leader for the Others takes place at an early age. They're in 1954, apparently. John fails to find out how he can get off the island before they shift through time again.

Scene 21: Everyone is in the same area, but there's nothing there.

Dan: Charlotte are you okay?
Charlotte: Yeah, I'm fine...
Miles: Me, too. I'm fine, too.

Except that Charlotte ISN'T OK. She totally dies after a bunch of blood comes out of her nose (probably a hemorhage).

Holy SHIT was this a good episode. I think that child soldier is Penny's Mom, because she had a bit of a lover's spat (or maybe not, they could just not like each other) with young master Widmore early in the episode. Plus, she looks like Penny. I get the feeling they're going to elaborate on the Island rivalry between Ben and Widmore. Widmore was an other, and was probably next in line as the leader (or thought he should be, because of his experience), before Ben came in and "took" it from him. Anydangway, this episode was great. If you haven't watched this season, CATCH UP. It's a good one.


Jake said...

Child soldier (who, by the way, does not look 16, 13 at the VERY most) doesn't look like Penny. Dan never met Penny, I'm quite sure, she looks like the girl he fucked up and left.

My verification word is: prokebro

Jess said...

Ok so now it is clear why I can't be Janeen. I HAVEN't EVER SEEN A WHOLE EPISODE OF LOST! Or Rock of Love or I Love Money or really any of the shows discussed on here. Any case, I'll continue to read it and maybe submit a few empty comments just so your blog looks cooler. UNLESS there's a movie I've seen or music I like featured or something. Sorry I suck, Jake.