Saturday, January 17, 2009

I Wasn't Aware Chow Hound Produced Movies

Here is the metacritic summary descripition of the Beverly Hills Chihuahua-esque new movie, "Hotel For Dogs:"

"Hotel for Dogs is a "smart" "comedy" "adventure" that "shows" (quotations mine) how far love and imagination can take you. When their new guardians forbid 16-year-old Andi and her younger brother, Bruce, from having a pet, Andi has to use her quick wit to help find a new home for their dog, Friday. The resourceful kids stumble upon an abandoned hotel and using Bruce's talents as a mechanical genius, transform it into a magical dog-paradise for Friday - and eventually for all Friday's friends. When barking dogs make the neighbors suspicious, Andi and Bruce use every invention they have to avoid anyone discovering "who let the dogs in."

First of all, Emma Roberts is going to be 18 and legal this February, so Hollywood execs need to STOP casting her in the same four kids movie roles. Looks like someone dug up Lisa Kudrow for this one, and Matt Dillon was apparently unavailable, so they settled for his consolation prize brother, Kevin. Also, DON CHEADLE! What were you thinking, Don? You're going to be in Iron Man II! You don't have to do this! Seriously, this whole movie sounds like an extended Dog Food commercial. I know that there's a valid dog-lover audience, but MARLEY AND ME IS ALREADY OUT. Why do there need to be TWO of these? I have a dog, who I love, but I would NEVER consider seeing either of those movies. If it's dog-centric, its likely to be a sappy tail about a rambunctious and precocious dog. At least this one looks like the dog won't die, which always seems to happen in these kinds of movies, but you never know. Also, why is the younger brother always good enough with technology to fix things as big as buildings, whole computer systems, etc. That kid is like ten! I think I'm just pissed off because this white bread shitfest is playing at my major theater, while the independent one can't even get Waltz with Bashir, The Wrestler, or The Class. I WANT WALTZ WITH BASHIR!

Here's the trailer. Ugh...

Yeah! Someone getting hit in the face joke! Never fails (at being the worst)!

Update: Forgot to mention the Baha Men joke. That was a lame reference when the song WAS OUT nearly ten years ago. Way to be extremely lazy. Also, why is it quoted? It's not the same quote. I mean, if it was: "Who let the dogs [in]!" then there should be quotes, but come on. God this movie is making me bitter.

1 comment:

Jeneen said...

My mom saw that yesterday.