Wednesday, January 14, 2009

About Time.

This post is not about time, or relativity, or any other word that pertains to science. In fact, the exact opposite, low intelligence, high entertainment. This post is about REAL CHANCE OF LOVE!
The finale was monday. It was so gratifying. Mostly because it is over. This is the last post about any VH1 show for a while (other than the RCoL reunion). On a side note, Rock of Love Bus is two episodes in, I'm not going to post about it. I can't stand it. I'm still going to watch it though. I Love Money 2 is starting soon, too. There is a 95% chance I won't post about it. It's so nice I don't have to invest myself in a show that isn't LOST like that. Granted, I didn't really have to pay attention to know what's happening.

Preface: A few weeks ago, Bay Bay Bay didn't get a chain, but convinced Real to keep her, even though, on multiple occasions he has said he isn't romantically interested in her.

On the finale: I missed the first ten minutes because I was watching Reality Bites. Apparently, Real, Chance and the four ladies have traveled to Puerto Rico, because, why not? They all have dinner together the first night. They all talk about... something... when, in a talking head, Real and Chance reveal they have to know who their BROTHER should pick, so they ask the contestants, because that won't be biased. Back at dinner, Chance asks Corn Fed and Bay Tré who he should pick. Corn Fed gives a good case for both Cali and Risky but decides on Cali* (*In this scene Risky and Cali are interchangeable. I don't remember who went first. Don't be mad if I'm wrong.)Chance appreciates her input (actually, I have a feeling Chance hates Corn Fed). Chance then asks Bay Tré, who picks Risky. Chance nods. Real then asks Cali, she says she can see Corn Fed and Real love each other a lot. Everyone is thinking, of course, Corn Fed picked Cali, of course Cali will pick Corn Fed. Real then asks Risky. Everyone expects Risky to pick Bay Tré, because she picked Risky. STALEMATE! Risky then says she sees a real connection between Real and Corn Fed! 100% of Chance's ladies are for Corn Fed. Corn Fed = happy. Bay Tré = pissed off! Bay Tré is now ranting, about Corn Fed, one would assume. Corn Fed defends herself. Yeah!!! It makes no difference though, Bay Tré just gets louder and more obnoxious (I used those two adjectives for a reason, you'll see.), so Corn Fed just walks away. The next morning, most likely an actor gave the ladies some Stallionaire Mail (Is that supposed to rhyme? It's been in every episode of the season, everyone says it like it rhymes. It doesn't rhyme.). The mail said Bay Tré and Cali would be going on a date in the jungle (with the guys, not each other, there aren't twists in this show. It isn't LOST!). At the date nothing incredible happens on Real's side of the table, but on Chance's side! OH! EM! GEE! Cali, who has been friends with Risky throughout the whole show, says she could find five other girls JUST like Risky. WHAAAAAAT?! Bay Tré will "definitely be telling Risky about this." Also at the date, Chance mentioned they were sitting under banana trees! The four of them go out to dinner and nothing special happens, except Cali makes Chance cry with her annoying voice. Bay Tré and Real go back to a hotel room and SEX! Cali and Chance go back to a hotel room and SEX! While the date was goin's on, Corn Fed was in the pool ranting about Bay Tré to Risky. As she was ranting she cupped some water in her hand and tried to throw it across the pool. It was really cute. The next morning, Bay Tré and Cali return, bragging about their date. Corn Fed and Risky then go on their date. I believe there was horse back riding. Eventually they end up at the beach. Risky and Chance are hanging out and Risky, in a talking head says "I really like Chance, he reminds me of my brother. That's kind of weird." Corn Fed is confronted about Bay Tré by Real, he asks "Do you think she's stronger than you?" and she, in her incredibly adorable accent "No! She's just loud.. and obnoxious!" The four of them go out to dinner and Corn Fed asks Real if he thinks she could be the one for him. And Real is caught off guard, for some reason. That seems like a valid question ON A DATING SHOW. Risky tells some depressing story about her life. Chance cries. After dinner, Real and Corn Fed go back to a hotel room and SEX! Chance and Risky go back to a hotel room and SE-. Actually, through editing, they just watch TV. Finally, it's all come down to this! The four ladies are standing there, in nice dresses, and the two brothers are standing there, ready to reveal who they've fallen in love with! Chance goes first, he compliments both his ladies, he then sends Risky home. Cali is SO EXCITED!!! She "can't wait to be with her boyfriend!!" But Wait, there's more! Chance says he loves Cali, but he's not IN love with Cali, so he sends her home too! Yes! Best possible solution! Real comes out and says "Unlike my brother I did fall in love." He, like Chance, compliments both. The says "Bay Bay Bay, I came here to finds fireworks, and I found them." Corn Fed is sad at this point. As she should be, Bay Tré isn't even supposed to be there. "Just not with you." Corn Fed is now happy. Corn Fed and Real kiss and say "I love you."

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